Priority Protection
You can’t always get what you want. Or can you?
I’m still thinking about this book and particularly the reference to this quote usually attributed to Maya Angelou: “Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.” This is a job description for leadership. When you level up the work gets fuzzier, the pace gets faster, and the expectations get implied. Suddenly you’re in a high-pressure, Slack-soaked, meeting-heavy environment where urgent is a vibe, not a category. If your default setting is “No worries if not,” then your calendar turns into a 24/7 help desk.
Being Prepared Means Boundaries
Competent people get rewarded with more work. You’ve seen it. You’ve lived it. You answer quickly, you fix problems, you take things off other people’s plates. When you imagine pushing back on an additional assignment, your brain hears: They’ll think I’m difficult. They’ll think I’m bossy. They’ll think I don’t deserve the promotion I just got. You got promoted because you are effective. And effectiveness requires limits. You don’t need to be always available. Instead, communicate strength plus warmth. Strength is clarity. It’s what you will do, what you won’t, and by when. Warmth is respect. You see the other person. You want things to work. You’re not making it weird. Try this:
Name the boundary (short and direct)
Name the reason (work reason, not a life reason)
Offer the next step (so you’re not blocking progress)
That’s how you ask for what you want while staying likable and respected. And now how about some scripts?
Scripts for Slack
1) When someone pings “Quick question?”
You want: fewer drive-bys, more control.
“Happy to help. Please send the question and what you need from me (decision, feedback, or info)? I’m in meetings until 2, then I can respond.”
Balanced, warm, and it trains people to be clearer.
2) When it’s after hours and you’re tempted to reply anyway
You want: to stop teaching people you’re always on.
“Got it. I’m offline now and will take a look tomorrow morning.”
No apology. No “No worries if not.” You’re simply a person who sleeps.
3) When you can’t take on more work
You want: to protect your priorities without sounding like you’re refusing.
“I can take this on, but I’ll need to push X to next week. Which is the priority?”
That one sentence is a leadership move. It makes trade-offs visible.
Scripts for Email
1) Setting response-time expectations
You want: fewer “following up!!!” emails.
Subject: Re: [Topic]
“Thanks for sending this. I’m heads-down on client deliverables today and will reply by EOD tomorrow. If you need a decision sooner, please flag what’s time-sensitive.”
Warmth: thanks + options. Strength: timeline.
2) Protecting your calendar
You want: fewer meetings that steal deep work time.
“I can join for the first 15 minutes to align on decisions and owners. If we need more time, I’m happy to review notes asynchronously.”
You’re not dodging. You’re designing how you work.
Scripts for Live Conversation
1) When someone adds “one more thing” in a meeting
You want: to stop volunteering your future evenings.
“I can do that. What should I deprioritize to make room?”
Say it calmly, like you’re asking where the stapler is.
2) When expectations are unclear
You want: clarity without sounding dramatic.
“To make sure I deliver what you actually need, what does success look like here, and when do you need it?”
That’s not pushy. That’s preventing rework.
3) When you need to end a conversation
You want: to leave without the nervous over-explaining.
“I’m going to jump to my next meeting. I’ll follow up with next steps by tomorrow at noon.”
Clean. Leader. Done.
Your new replacement for “No worries if not”
Retire it. It sounds polite, but it teaches people your needs don’t matter.
Try these instead:
If that doesn’t work, here are two alternatives.
Let me know what’s realistic on your end.
If you can’t, who’s the right person to ask?
Still warm. Way more self-respecting.
The Pep Talk You Actually Need
You got promoted because you produce results and you build trust. Boundaries protect both.
So ask for what you want: time to focus, clear priorities, reasonable response expectations, fewer meetings, better inputs, cleaner handoffs. Say it like it’s normal. Because it should be.
Your work will get better. Your energy will last longer. And the people around you will adjust to the reality you set. The fast-paced, high-pressure environment isn’t going to slow down for you. Your job is to manage your time like it’s part of the business plan.
Call to Action
Pick one boundary you’ve been avoiding and use one of the scripts above. No extra justification. No apology. Then watch what happens when you act like your time is valuable.
You’ve been trained, explicitly or not, that if you want something at work, you should want it quietly. Be easy. Be flexible. Be low maintenance. And if you do ask? Cushion it in apologies, soften it with disclaimers, and make sure everyone knows you’re not being, ya know… bossy.
But when you ask like you expect a yes, you sound like someone who belongs in the decision. Your request stops sounding like a favor and starts sounding like a normal, reasonable next step. If your default is too soft, this is your upgrade: strength plus warmth. Strength is clarity. Warmth is respect. Together, they let you ask directly without sounding arrogant.
The Strength Plus Warmth Formula (use this everywhere)
When you need to ask for something: raise, scope change, resources, help, time, etc., use this structure:
Name what you want (one sentence)
Tie it to outcomes (why it matters)
Acknowledge their constraints (warmth)
Offer an easy next step (what you need from them)
It looks like this: “I’d like X because it will Y. I know you’re balancing Z. The next step I’m asking for is A.”
That’s it. Four steps. Not groveling. Not bossy.
How do you ask for what you want while staying likable and respected? Please share in the comments.
Knowing your audience, such good info.